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Common Questions about Child Abuse
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Question?
What is the age in NY for leaving a child alone to watch themselves?
Answer:
There is no legal age. If children were reported for lack of supervision the investigator would ask a series of questions to determine if their self-supervision was appropriate.
If not charges of endangerment or lack of supervision could be pressed.
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Question?
Recently I was informed that the mother of 3 children was using marijuana and that the living conditions in their home were deteriorating. Ceilings had collapsed in the boys rooms and the mother has refused to do anything about the conditions. The second floor of the house is strewn with laundry, so much so that there is a path to get through the mess. There is also a tremendous amount of verbal abuse directed mostly at the boys ages 13 & 18. What can be done?
Answer:
You can make a report to your states central registry for reporting child abuse and neglect. In New York State the number is 1-800-342-3720. You should mention that you have concern for the boys safety. The child abuse and neglect laws will not involve the 18 year old but will help to protect the 13 year old. Thank you for your concern.
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Question?
If you knew one of your close friends got abused by their parents what would you do?
Answer:
The first thing someone should do is talk to a trusted adult, such as a teacher or guidance counselor.
These people are mandated reporters and therefore would have to make a report concerning this abuse.
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Question?
How can abuse hurt kids mentally, physically, and is there a better way to discipline. Please give examples.
Answer:
The answer to this type of question is very lengthy. We have lots of information available at the Center. If you would like more information please contact us at 845-454-0595.
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Question?
I read that a child left home alone would warrant a CPS investigation, however on the State of NY OCFS website it gives guidelines for maturity, emergency, etc. not an age limit. It's confusing...can you help decifer.
Answer:
There are no laws defining the age a child can be left alone.
An investigation does not mean an indicated report, but an invesigation of the possibility of endangerment is warranted with a child under 12. There are times an investigation could be indicated for any child, regardless of age, depending on the childs maturity, the length of time left alone, as well as the childs living area.
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Question?
I know of kids who are always getting yelled at. Their mom is always calling them "stupid" or "retarded". I have been told she throws the kids around and hits them. I have not seen it but I know it has to be true, one the children had a bruise, another staples in her head, once she even had a burn on her back.
I also believe the Dad is using drugs but I am not sure on that. CPS has been called repeatedly, her kids had been removed and returned several times, some of this stuff happened in a differnt NYS County but most of it has been reported in Dutchess.
I would like to know how long it takes for a removal to be done . I know Dutchess County has different rules and each individual CPS worker does things their own way.
I would like to call and make a report but was told if I did call she would come after me and I was told to watch my back. Any advice at this point would be very helpful, I am worried about these kids and what could happen if nothing gets done soon.
Answer:
It sounds as if the children in question are in danger of being seriously hurt.
My suggestion is to make an anonymous report at 1-800-342-3720. Thank you for caring enough to intervene on a child's behalf.
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Question?
Hi. I really need to talk to someone about these two boys that I know. I believe they are being mistreated but I'm not sure if this is child abuse.I don't know what to do?
What do I do?
Answer:
Please contact the New York State Central registry at 1-800-342-3720. The people there are trained to answer your questions and help you. You can make the call anonymously and they will let you know whether your suspicions are reportable and if so will take you through the report process.
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Question?
How can we stop child abuse and neglect?
Answer:
We can stop child abuse by working together as a community to build a place where children are respected, nurtured, and cared about. We can no longer sit by and bury our heads in the sand when we see a caregiver abusing their child.
We can intervene by offering to watch a colicky baby for a couple of hours while a parent catches up on some badly needed sleep.
We can start parenting support groups in our neighborhoods. We can educate people on the effects of child abuse. We can serve as role models. We can no longer tolerate abuse of any form.
We can get to know our neighbors and form a connection with them so that we can help one another. We can show other children (other than our own birth children) that they are important and valuable to their world.
We can write to our legislators to increase the penalties for child abuse. We can help to educate our communities on child development to eliminate unrealistic expectations on children.
In short we can start with ourselves and one child at a time to build a kinder gentler world.
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Question?
What should I do to help a sexually abused friend?
Answer:
It is wonderful that you want to help your friend. First of all try not to treat your friend any differently than you did prior to learning of the abuse. Explain that you will be willing to listen if he/she is willing to talk.
Don't judge your friend or their feelings. Thank them for trusting you enough to share with you and encourage them to talk to a professional about this either a couselor, or therapist.
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Question?
I was abused by my mother (physical) and I got put on probation because my mom has no criminal record. Now she says I can go to my dads, but I'll have to go through the state and be sent to juvi. What do I do?
Answer:
You need to be able to speak to someone closer to you who knows you. Try talking to your school social worker or your probation worker.
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Question?
Why are children that are abused returned to the home?
Answer:
Child abuse is a crime. There has to be sufficient evidence of a crime to remove a child from their home. If a child has been removed it is because there is an eminent danger to the child's well being. If the parents have eliminated or worked through the eminent danger the child is returned home.
After 15 months a permanent plan has to be implemented for the child, if the presenting problem has not been eliminated or improved a petition for the termination of parental rights is filed. If that petition is granted by the courts the child is then released for adoption.
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Question?
How many kids are abused?
Answer:
In 2006, there were 76,590 substantiated reports of child abuse, neglect and maltreatment in New York State. This is approximately 16.9 of every 1,000 children in the state.
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Question?
My sister has three children ages 9, 7, & 2. They are out of control and she doesn't know what to do at times. Punishing does nothing. They fight each other and never listen. Do you know any books she should read to help with her parenting skills?
Answer:
I hesitate to recommend one parenting book over another, because people can find some good information in most of them. Your sister may want to check in her area and see if there are any parenting classes or parenting support groups.
If that is not convenient for her, she could try reading books by Jane Neilson, such as Positive Discipline but remember there are a lot of books out there by different authors that are good.
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Question?
My toddler screams himself to sleep almost everynight. If I lay with him or if he sleeps in my bed he won't scream. Are there ways to get him to go to bed by himself without screaming?
Answer:
Toddlers feel that if they can't see you, you may not exist. You may want to sit in his room with him for a period of time, but not lay down with him. If he is crying try visiting his room for very short periods of time and assure him that you are still there. Make sure you make plans for the next day with him. These plans do not have to be anything big, it could be as simple as sharing a bowl of his favorite cereal.
Another good way of assuring your child you will be there when he wakes up is to buy a teddy bear for yourself, sleep with it for a few nights, then ask him if he will take care of YOUR teddy overnight, until the next morning.
Always tell him he is a good boy and that you love him before he goes to bed.
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Question?
Should a toddler be smacked in the face for misbehaving? Should a toddler be spanked across the knee on the bare bottom?
Answer:
I don't believe any child should be "smacked".
I understand people reach a point where frustration takes over, however if hitting really worked it would only have to be done once.
The only reason to hit a child is to create pain, and that will have children performing out of fear.
A child who acts out of fear rather than self discipline will not know how to control themselves when their guardian is not with them. They will usually end up resentful and rebellious.
A child who is taught and encouraged will learn self discipline and keep themselves in check. Remember the way you parent your toddler will effect your relationship with that child when they are teenagers and making life choices.
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Question?
I just turned 18 about three months ago and I live in NY with my parents and two younger brothers.
My father through our whole lives has beaten us and has basically made all three of us scared to death of him.He's in the military so he is use to being in control.He isn't, however, use to having an 18- year-old child seeing as how I'm the oldest.
This past year he hasn't hit any of us. He only yells at us a lot and I do mean A LOT. Just the other night he ended up getting mad at me, threw the remote at me leaving a bruise on my wrist, and smacked me across the face. Now I know there are limits as to what a parent can do to their child physically after they've turned 18. What are those limits and should I be looking for help?
Answer:
If you are over the age of eighteen the laws involve adult protection and the police rather then Child Protective Services.
The answer is yes you should be looking for help. Help could be offered to you through Crime Victims in your county.
You could request an order of protection through Family Court. You could press harrasment charges against him which could result in a violation, and you could possibly be granted a order of protection through criminal court.
You could ask your local police to fill out a blotter without pressing charges. You could also try to file a report of child Abuse through the Central Registry for Child Abuse and Neglect in Albany (1-800-342-3720) on behalf of your brothers, who are both under the age of 18.
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Question?
You've written that a child can be removed from their home if there is eminent danger to that child. Who decides whether there is an "eminent danger"? What, specifically, constitutes an "eminent danger"?
What rules, laws or regulations govern CPS? How can a person read and learn more about those guidelines? If CPS tries to remove a child from a biological parent and a judge disapproves that removal, can CPS be sued? If a person reports a claim of abuse to CPS and that claim is unsubstantiated, can the person who initiated the claim be sued? What stops a person from constantly reporting to CPS a claim of abuse or mistreatment of a child solely to harass the biological parent of that child? At what point does CPS disregard these baseless claims? How can a parent protect themselves from these attacks?
These may be difficult questions. Please try to answer them. I have many others.
Answer:
The CPS worker makes a preliminary judgement regarding removal but that has to be approved by a judge within 24 business hours.
The Family Court Act contains the laws governing CPS. These laws would be available at your local law library. CPS cannot be sued unless you can prove they acted out of anything other than good faith, the same goes for the person making the report.
Furthermore, the source of the report is confidential therefore it would be impossible to prove who made the report. If someone feels they are being harassed the can ask the investigating worker if there is something that can be done. By law CPS cannot disregard any claim. As far as a parent protecting themselves there is really very little that can be done except to work with the investigator.
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Question?
To what kids of families does child abuse happen to?
Answer:
Child Abuse crosses all social, economic, and racial lines. Any family could become involved with child abuse.
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Question?
My son is 15 years old and lives in New York. His mother beats him with a belt. I live in LA. Can she beat him with a belt? I know you can spank a child, but with a belt?
Answer:
Using a belt on a child can be considered abusive. To make a report call 1-800-342-3720.
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Question?
My boy is 2 and a half. All of a sudden the only person he wants is his daycare provider. She can't leave the building or room or a few feet from him during daycare without him going crazy.
He cries and begs for her and carries on. I am worried that she might have done something to him. He doesn't act that way at home and doesn't ask for her at home but at daycare he's a scared, crying little one. Please help.
Answer:
He may just be going through very normal seperation anxiety (common for his age). To calm your fears and ensure your childs safety you may want to see your pediatrician.
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